


The Gift (bonus journal entry)

by scullywolf



Series: TXF: Scenes in Between [158]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, Mulder's stupid brain disease thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullywolf/pseuds/scullywolf
Summary: Mulder leaves an entry for Scully before he goes to Squamash.





	

_I’m hesitant to write this down because it’s probably too good to be true. But if, for some reason, I don’t manage to return from this trip, I want there to be a record. I want you to know why I left._

_I’m going to Squamash, Pennsylvania tomorrow. I’ve learned of the existence of a creature known as a soul-eater. It reportedly has the power to take away a person’s illness, to consume and remove any disease. The process by which it manages this is not without risks, but I believe they are risks worth taking. Because if this works, Dana… if it works, then I’m cured, and that is worth just about any risk._

***

_I couldn’t do it._

_I wanted so badly for it to work, for it to be the solution to my problem. But once I looked into his eyes, Dana, I couldn’t go through with it. I said a cure would be worth any risk, but what I didn’t realize was that it wasn’t about that at all._

_Every ailment he healed, he absorbed. Every suffering he eased, he bore himself, instead. He may have been something inhuman, but the people who tortured him for their own gain, they were the true monsters. I couldn’t be party to that._

_I know this case we’re on seems to barely qualify as an X-File. I know what I’m putting you through for the sake of having an excuse to disappear for eight hours as we rotate shifts on the stakeout. And for it all to have been for nothing in the end._

_I will find a way to make it up to you, I promise._

_My neurologist told me about a specialist in England who’s developing a new form of gene therapy that might help me. I don’t really understand all the specifics, but my doctor seems to think it sounds promising. That’s going to be the next thing I try, once I can make the arrangements to get over there. I’m not giving up._

**Author's Note:**

> According to Doggett’s comments in The Gift, the Mulder flashbacks in that episode take place the day before we first see M&S on stakeout in Chimera. Doggett also says Mulder was supposed to be on a case in D.C. (a case report Scully co-signed) at the same time he was in Pennsylvania looking into the soul eater thing. So I’m placing these journal entries here, for the sake of continuity. Because _somebody_ around here has got to give a damn about continuity. ;)


End file.
